….the eyes are never satisfied…(Proverbs 27:20)

Last week, I wrote a blog entitled “When Your Eyes Are Bigger Than Your Stomach.” The blog explores the tragic results that ensue when our desires exceed our capacity. I encouraged all of us to make sure that we can handle what we ask for. In the comments section (btw, I absolutely love reading and responding to the comments that you share. Your feedback helps me sharpen my aim) of the blog, Sharon raised a very significant question, so significant that I felt that I should use this week’s blog to answer it. Here ‘s what she asked:

…If you have the desire, drive and dedication, and you have done the work to prepare yourself for the next level, can't you pray for God to increase your capacity?

I have wrestled with this question, because the answer seems so seductively simple. Of course I should ask to increase my capacity! God can do anything!

But after much prayer and consideration, I would have to say that the real issue is not can you pray for God to increase your capacity but should you?. And there is considerable biblical evidence to suggest that you probably shouldn’t. Let me explain how I arrived at this conclusion.

First, let’s revisit the passage of scripture from which I drew the original thought. Two of Jesus’s disciples approach him with a bold request:

Then James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came over and spoke to him. “Teacher,” they said, “we want you to do us a favor.”“What is your request?” He asked. They replied, “When you sit on your glorious throne, we want to sit in places of honor next to you, one on your right and the other on your left.” But Jesus said to them, “You don’t know what you are asking! Are you able to drink from the bitter cup of suffering I am about to drink? Are you able to be baptized with the baptism of suffering I must be baptized with?” Mark 10 ;35-38

On the basis of Jesus’s response, I counseled us to inquire whether “we have the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual capacity to manage” what we are asking for, and if not, to “order another item off life’s menu.” But now let’s go deeper, because their conversation did not end there. Here’s how it continued:

They said to Him, “We are able.”

So Jesus said to them, “You will indeed drink the cup that I drink, and with the baptism I am baptized with you will be baptized; but to sit on My right hand and on My left is not Mine to give, but it is for those for whom it is prepared.”

Note their confidence: “We are able.” In other words, James and John believed that they had the capacity to meet whatever demands accompanied their desire. And Jesus appears to co-sign their confidence. But ultimately, he still denies their request. Why? Because what they desired was beyond his ability to grant! He tells them that what they are requesting is reserved for “those whom it is prepared. But the identity of “those for whom it is prepared” is left unmentioned. Jesus didn’t tell them who those seats were reserved for. But he knew who they weren’t reserved for: James and John.

So that leads me to a few conclusions:

1. Even if James and John did have the capacity for to handle their desire

2. Their desire would still not been met

3. Because our desires may not be God’s desire for us

4. And hence, increase capacity does not necessarily lead to achieving our desires.

The last point seem to be the most relevant to Sharon’s question. I do believe that we can increase our mental, physical and emotional capacity. However, I also believe that the goal of increasing your capacity should be done for self improvement, not to position yourself to achieve a desire. Increased capacity does not necessarily result in obtaining my desires. As you can probably tell, I want us to focus less on the capacity side, and more on the desire side of the equation—because I think that’s where most of the struggle occurs. In James 4:1-4,, the Bible says:

Why do you fight and argue with each other? Isn't it because you are full of selfish desires that fight to control your body? You want something you don't have, and you will do anything to get it. You will even kill! But you still cannot get what you want, and you won't get it by fighting and arguing. You should pray for it. Yet even when you do pray, your prayers are not answered, because you pray just for selfish reasons.

God does not answer selfish prayers that are based on selfish desires. And in those cases that he does, the results are tragic. The biblical story of Rachel is a good example. She asked for God to give her a child (Genesis 30:1) God did, and she died during childbirth (Genesis 35:19). The reason? Her true desire for wanting more children was envy of her sister Leah. The later story of the children of Israel asking for a dietary upgrade is another (Numbers 11). During their sojourn through the wilderness, they grew tired of the manna that God had provided. They prayed for meat. God gave them what they wanted. But when they got what they wanted, it killed them too. Do you see a pattern here? God can do anything. But God does not do everything!

Oscar Wilde once said that there “are two tragedies in life. The first is not getting what you want. The other is getting it.” How many of us have gotten what we thought we wanted, only to discover that it wasn’t what we were anticipating? Behaviroal economists have a name for this: it’s called Buyers remorse.

Instead of praying for increased capacity, I think we will be much happier, effective and useful if we pray for increased self knowledge. Let’s spend more time investigating what we want, and why we want it. Often, what we want is birthed from envy; or anger, or bitterness, or comparison, or some ghost from our past to whom we are trying to prove a point that isn’t worth proving.

Our eyes will never be satisfied. Our desires are limitless. And however much we can expand our capacity, no one has unlimited capacity. And since that is true, it is also true that satisfaction must not be external. It must be internal, based on the regulation, coordination and submission of our desires with the will of God.

Let’s ask God to purify our desires, and show us the clues we need to ensure that we are on the right path. Instead of praying to get to the “next” level, maybe we should pray that God place us on the “right” level. Pray with me:

Father,

Put me in the right place.

Put me around the right people.

Put me in the right environment.

Please don’t let my desires defeat me!