Doris Kearns Goodwin is one of the most highly regarded and frequently quoted historians of our time. She has written extensively on the lives and legacies of several American presidents. As we are only 3 months away from the next presidential election, Dr. Goodwin has lately become a recurring guest on cable news to offer her informed judgement on the upcoming election, the attributes that are required to effectively govern, and what she has learned about how former presidents have navigated crises. In a recent interview, she shared an anecdote about Franklin Roosevelt, who successfully steered our nation through the economic depression that ravaged our republic during the 1930s. In a conversation with a high ranking cabinet official, President Roosevelt said that his wife Eleanor was his secret weapon and would frequently refer to her as a "welcome thorn." 

What a marvelous phrase: a "welcome thorn!". It is an oxymoron.  Thorns are usually unwelcomed, undesired, and avoided at all costs. The reason is not far to seek. In the plant kingdom, a thorn is a sharp, pointed, and leafless stem whose primary function is to protect the fruit with which it shares a home from being eaten by predators. A thorn is designed to hurt. Metaphorically speaking, a thorn is "any source of continual irritation or suffering." Who welcomes irritation or suffering? It would seem that anyone who welcomes a thorn should also welcome a psychiatric evaluation. 

But President Roosevelt arrived at the same counterintuitive, revolutionary discovery that the Apostle Paul did: irritation often brings insight and suffering often leads to success. In a letter he wrote toward the end of more than 20 years of crisscrossing the ancient world, Paul informs his audience that an undefined "thorn" was the primary source of his profound insight into the nature of grace. The undefined thorn made him weak, and that weakness opened the door for an infusion of strength.  

A welcome thorn is something (or someone) that may initially (or even chronically) hurt, but ultimately helps. By calling his wife a "welcome thorn" President Roosevelt was actually giving his wife an incredible compliment. It meant that she offered opinions, made suggestions, and took positions that he may not have wanted to hear (and may have objected to and even opposed), but in time proved to be crucial contributions that allowed him to provide leadership to the nation at extremely critical times.  

Don't be so quick to rid yourself of irritations or irritants. You may be ridding yourself of insight, effectiveness, and opportunity.  

Remember that teacher you hated? He probably was the best one you ever had.

Remember that boss who pushed you harder than you liked? She taught you habits that are responsible for your success.

Remember that friend who told you not to do what you did anyway? Had you listened to them, you may have saved yourself a ton of heartbreak.   

Everything that hurts isn't harmful. Sometimes it’s helpful.