Stop Hanging With Hyenas
PROVERBS 27:17
Iron sharpeneth iron, so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.
One of my favorite movies of all time is the Lion King. One of my favorite scenes in that movie is the dialogue between Scar (the uncle of the soon to be King Simba, and brother of the current King Mufasa) and the hyenas. Unlike Mufasa, who prances around his Kingdom with the air of royal certainty, Scar prefers consorting with Hyenas. While lions are the most social of cats, they don't typically associate with hyenas: they hunt them! And therein lies one of the significant takeaways from that scene. When you are hanging out with who you should be hunting, that is, ummm-no bueno. It is clear that even the hyenas don't respect Scar! Here is part of their conversation:
Shenzi: Look at you guys. No wonder we're dangling at the bottom of the food chain.
Banzai: Man, I hate dangling.
Eddie: You know, if it weren't for those lions, we'd be runnin’ the joint.
Banzai: Yeah. Man, I hate lions.
Shenzi: So pushy.
Banzai: And hairy.
Ed: And stinky.
Eddie: And man are they...
Shenzi, Banzai, Eddie and Ed: Uuug-LEE! {They laugh.}
Scar: Oh, surely, we lions are not all that bad.
Eddie: Ohh. {relieved from the surprise} Oh Scar, it's just you.
Shenzi: We were afraid it was somebody important.
Banzai: Yeah, you know, like Mufasa.
Banzai: Now that's power.
Shenzi: Tell me about it. I just hear that name and I shudder.
Banzai: Mufasa.
Shenzi: {Shivering} Ooooh...Do it again.
Banzai: Mufasa.
Shenzi: Ooooh.
Banzai, Ed, and Eddie: Mufasa. Mufasa! Mufasa!
Shenzi: {Builds up hysterical laughter} ... Oooh! It tingles me.
Scar: I'm surrounded by idiots.
Banzai: Not you Scar, I mean, you're one of us. I mean, you're our pal.
In the foregoing dialogue, Scar complains that he is “surrounded by idiots;” company that he, ahem..chose! Are you hanging with hyenas?
For the purposes of this discussion, let's define a hyena as anyone who does not share your vision or your values. Now of course we all must interact with people in the ordinary course of our lives who share neither, but it is inexcusable to invest any time with people who don't see (or agree) with where you are going or who don’t believe in (and are not committed to) what is important to you. Hanging with hyenas may be why you are tired. Hanging with hyenas may be why you are discouraged. And hanging with hyenas may be why you are unmotivated.
I strongly encourage you to conduct a relationship audit. Subject every person in your personal and professional network to the following questions:
What do I have in common with this person?
Do they have a role in my future?
Can I share my dreams with them without fear of being ridiculed?
What was their reaction the last time I shared a success?
What are the recurring subjects of our conversations?
These questions will help you flush out the hyenas. One of my mentors said that we should develop relationships with people on 3 levels: people above our level to inspire us (and challenge us to get better), on our level to balance us (and encourage us along with journey), and below our level to humble us (and provide us with an opportunity to help). We all must always reach down. But we reach down to lift. Staying down too long might silence or stifle our roar.