Ignoring Insults

I continue to be impressed by Lebron James. While I will never agree that he is the best basketball player of all time (sorry folks my vote goes to Michael Jordan), I do agree with Charles Barkley that he is the best basketball player of his generation, and certainly one of the best basketball players of all time. But as impressive as Mr James skills are are on the court, I find that his skills off of the court are even more so.

Those skills were recently on vivid display during the Los Angeles Lakers’ first round playoff series against the Memphis Grizzles. In a post game interview after one of the games in the series, Dillion Brooks, (one of the Grizzles players) was asked what he thought about Lebron and the Lakers’ chances of victory. Mr. Brooks said he thought that the Lakers’s chances of victory were slim, and then added that Lebron was “old.”

Mr. Brooks’ statement about Lebrons’ age went viral, and was soon the biggest story in all of sports. On one hand, his statement was accurate. Lebron James is old—at least by basketball standards. After 20 seasons and at age 38, Mr. James is one of the oldest players currently in the National Basketball Association (NBA). But even at his age, he is also by all accounts still one of the best.  On the other hand, this statement was intentionally designed to provoke Lebron into an argument, get inside his head, and spark controversy. Mr. Brooks decided to punch above his weight class, hoping to enhance his edge and the Grizzles’s chances of victory. It was clearly meant to be an insult.

Well, it didn’t work. The Grizzles lost. Most interestingly, and impressively, Lebron never responded to Mr. Brooks’ statement—until after the series. When asked about the statement during the series Lebron simply replied that “the game is won between the four lines. Always Has. Always Will Be.” How Mr. James handled the matter is a masterclass in ignoring insults.

Let’s distinguish between feedback, criticism, and insults. Each of these forms of communication can be described as a method of sharing truth about a person.  And let me hasten to add that we all need others in order to fully understand ourselves.  The eye can see everything except itself—so we need the input of others to have a complete understanding of ourselves.  What distinguishes the three forms is the intent and attitude of the sharer.  Feedback is given by someone who loves you and wants to see you improve, and so the attitude in which the truth is shared is affirming and supportive. Criticism is given by someone who usually doesn’t know you that well and doesn’t want you to succeed, and so the attitude in which the truth is shared tends to be skeptical or sarcastic.  It is also important to remember that the number of critics always far exceeds the number of creators. Being a critic is easy. Being a creator is hard. Being a critic is easy because it requires something to criticize. Without creators, critics would have no purpose. So in one sense, being criticized is a blessing. I once heard Bishop TD Jakes say that dogs never bark at parked cars. You have to be moving to attract any attention.  Insults are designed to cut, demean and deter, and so the attitude in which the truth is shared reeks with contempt and malice.

The blistering emergence of social media has only intensified the frequency and the hostility of criticism and insults, because anyone from anywhere (regardless of their level of achievement or accomplishment) can offer their unsolicited views on any and every subject imaginable. Insults are by far the most pernicious of the 3 forms. There will always be people who will attempt to divert, distract and deter you from your purpose by hurling insults in your direction. The temptation is to respond—immediately, aggressively, and primally.  But doing so is unwise.  It’s a waste of time and energy, time and energy that can be more effectively used to invest in preparing for victory.

The better strategy is the one deployed by Lebron James in response to Dillion Brooks and which is also powerfully illustrated in 1 Samuel 10:24-27. The first King of Israel was a man named Saul. But when he was selected as King, there were some in Israel who were less than enthusiastic about his selection. This is what the scripture says:

Then Samuel said to all the people, “This is the man the Lord has chosen as your king. No one in all Israel is like him!”

And all the people shouted, “Long live the king!”

Then Samuel told the people what the rights and duties of a king were. He wrote them down on a scroll and placed it before the Lord. Then Samuel sent the people home again.

When Saul returned to his home at Gibeah, a group of men whose hearts God had touched went with him. But there were some scoundrels who complained, “How can this man save us?” And they scorned him and refused to bring him gifts. But Saul ignored them.

To expect that everyone will be excited about your good fortune is naive.

To expect that everyone will celebrate your success is foolish.

To expect that everyone will “bring you gifts” when you triumph is setting yourself up for failure.

People will always question your credentials, your credibility, and your character. But instead of allowing their insults to discourage, delay, or deter you, stay focused

Stay prayerful.

Stay prepared.

And only respond after you win.