Mind Your Own Business

How much time do you spend talking or thinking about the actions, attitudes, and agendas of other people? Let me answer that question for you: probably far too much.

Our concern with the actions, attitudes and agendas of others is inevitable, and often necessary. None of us exists independently, and maneuvering through life is remarkably similar to maneuvering through traffic in an automobile. You must constantly scan the environment to not only ensure that you don’t hit anyone, but also to ensure that no one hits you. We must study, anticipate, and react as the occasion requires.

Our concern with the actions, attitudes, and agendas of others can also be admirable, and stem from honorable motives. Not only do we not exist independently, but as Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once said,
"we are caught together in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in garment of destiny. What affects one directly, affects all indirectly.” This is why in 1 Timothy 2:1-2, the scripture urges us to pray for each other. It commands us to ask God to help, intercede, and give thanks for others, and to especially “pray…for kings and all who are in authority so that we can live peaceful and quiet lives marked by godliness and dignity.” We cannot fool ourselves into thinking that the actions, attitudes and agendas of other people do not matter or cannot affect us. Hence, we must do all that we can to help others succeed, lest their failure impact our lives.

But while our concern with the actions, attitudes and agendas of other people can be inevitable—and often necessary; admirable—and often stem from honorable motives, this concern can also turn obsessive, destructive, and unproductive. Earlier this week, I had to extract myself from a conversation during which each of the participants speculated on the motives and discussed the affairs of someone about whom we all care deeply. After 45 minutes, I decided to leave because it occurred to me that any further speculation would be as fruitless. The person was not present. And if they were, I doubted very seriously if anything that was being said would change the behaviors that so concerned us. I decided to take the advice that Jesus once gave Peter: I decided to mind my own business.

Jesus gave Peter this advice during one of the 13 appearances that he made to his disciples after his Resurrection. According to John 21:20-22, Jesus and Peter were engaged in an increasingly uncomfortable conversation that raised questions about Peter’s commitment, and included directions on future—a future that would involve some sacrifices that Peter apparently did not want to make. So Peter did what we all do when issues are raised that we don’t want to deal with. He changed the subject! This is what hapenned:

Peter turned around and saw behind them the disciple Jesus loved—the one who had leaned over to Jesus during supper and asked, “Lord, who will betray you?” Peter asked Jesus, “What about him, Lord?” Jesus replied, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? As for you, follow me.”

Peter was concerned about John: “What about him Lord?” But Jesus directed Peter to mind his own business. Jesus instructed Peter to stop worrying about John. Jesus instructed Peter to stay focused on God’s assignment for Peter.

All of us tend to ask some version of the question that Peter asked Jesus. We are always ducking our responsibility and wasting our time speculating with others and to God about the actions, agendas, and attitudes of other people. Entire industries and technologies are built around this maddening quest, and generate billions of dollars directing our energies toward and focusing our attention on other people’s business!

What about their marriage?

What about their children?

What about their career?

What about their decisions?

Well, Jesus says to us what he said to Peter.

What is that to you?

Follow me.