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Today I want to wrestle with what I will admit is a controversial idea. I am still working out some of the wrinkles, but today’s subject has been weighing heavily on my heart, and so I wanted to share it with you. I expect some of you reading this to be offended, insulted, or at least irritated--, so if that happens, well, that means I’ve hit my target. LOL.

Sooo…

A few weeks ago, a member of our church shared the most interesting conversation that she had with one of her adult children. During the conversation, her 20 year son son was complaining about how difficult his current work environment was, and how he wished that she had been harder on him. (Yes, you read that correctly). The young man went on to tell her that as he reflected on his childhood, he could not understand why she allowed him to get away with so much! Of course, she responded with shock and surprise, and said she did her best to accommodate his interests. Then here’s the kicker: he told his mother that there were some events and activities he wished that she had MADE HIM DO.

That young man is on to something.

As I was listening, I could not help but think of my own childhood, and all of the things that my parents made me do:

they made me drink a glass of water at every meal

they made me go to bed at 8:30pm every night (even on weekends and during the summer)

they made me go to church

they made me read the newspaper

they made me lay out the clothes I planned to wear the next day the night before.

And my mother made me register for an oratorical competition that would eventually lead to the discovery of the calling to ministry that was upon my life.

Growing up, I resented most of this parental intrusion upon my preferences. I usually wanted to be somewhere else doing something else. But in retrospect, I am grateful that my parents didn’t let me do everything what I wanted to do. The results may have been tragic.

Then I thought about the legendary singer MIchael Jackson. It has been amply documented that his childhood was anything but pleasant. He often complained about the way his father made he and his brothers practice, practice and practice some more. If they failed to meet his rigorous standards, they would be verbally and sometimes physically abused. Joe Jackson made his children perfect the art of performance, and as a result, one of his sons easily ranks as one of the greatest entertainers of all time.

I will confess this is a thorny subject, and in no way am I condoning or advocating abuse of any kind.. One level of the conversation is about parenting. But parenting is not my main concern. My main concern is to briefly consider the benefits of loving compulsion.

I think we tend to overemphasize the benefits of choice, especially when the chooser is ignorant or immature. I know this may sound like heresy to many of you, because as Americans we value choice and have exalted the rugged individualist as our ideal conception of humanity. But the more I think about it, the more, I am beginning to think that all of us can benefit every now and then from a push or a pull from a loving hand. Sometimes, we all need someone to make us do what we find unpleasant.

There is an interesting perspective on this matter in one of the miracles of Jesus. The scriptures tell us that a vast multitude had gathered around Jesus, and he asked his disciples to feed them. They quickly informed Jesus that they did not have the resources to do so and advised Jesus to send the crowd away. Jesus ignored their advice, and instead instructed them to find out if any food was available. They found a little boy in the crowd with two small fishes and five loaves of bread. With those meager provisions, Jesus fed a gathering of more than 5000 people.

There is a detail in this story that is quite instructive. Before the miracle is performed, Jesus tells his disciples to organize the crowd. Specifically, he says this:

And Jesus said, Make the men sit down. Now there was much grass in the place. So the men sat down, in number about five thousand.

John 6:10

Did you catch the command? MAKE THE MEN SIT DOWN!

Please note that Jesus did not ask his disciples to poll the men, survey the men, ask the men, encourage the men, or even trick the men into sitting down. The mood of the Greek word used is in the imperative tense, which is the tone of command. It was not a request. He did not give them a choice. They complied. And what was the result? A miracle. Perhaps many of us have missed some miracles because we have resisted compulsion from a loving source.

I am convinced that God sends people and situations into our lives to push us and to pull us. I am also convinced that what we don’t want to do is usually God’s will.

Don’t be so quick to push against people who push you and pull against situations that are pulling on you. You might be missing out on a miracle.