Refusing Instruction
One of the best experiences of my life was the 7 years I spent as the Chaplain of the Los Angeles Clippers. As Chaplain, I was privileged to offer spiritual counsel to world class athletes; received an “all access” pass to roam every nook and cranny of the then Staples and now Cypto.com Center; was able to watch some pretty exciting basketball games from close or near the floor; and got a keen look at the business side of professional sports. But perhaps the most impactful takeaway from that experience was seeing how diligently the players prepare to play the game.
A large part of that preparation is listening to the direction, assistance, and feedback of coaches. Each team has multiple coaches: a head Coach, various position coaches, a strength and conditioning coach and a nutritionist to boot. I always believed that it was noteworthy that any of these athletes required much coaching. After all, most of them have been playing basketball since they were very young. But despite how long they may have played, and how much money they get paid to play, a full time, highly compensated coaching staff was still on hand to help them improve. I was blown away when I learned that before they left the arena en route to the next game, a video of the game they just finished had already been loaded on their individual tablets so they could watch it in preparation for the next game.
Another discovery was even more impactful. I observed that the more highly skilled the player, the more frequently he sought counsel and feedback from the various coaches. The best guys wanted the most help! And the guys who weren’t so good…well, you guessed it. They were most unwilling to receive help.
I discovered what Solomon already knew. In Proverbs 15:32 (GNT) this is what he says:
If you refuse to learn, you are hurting yourself. If you accept correction, you will become wiser.
Far too many of us are hurting ourselves because we refuse to learn or accept correction. We think we know everything! That erroneous assumption stunts our growth, stymies our progress, and sabotages our potential. I recently started working out with a personal trainer. I am trying to learn how to do a handstand and a split. (LOL, don’t even ask). After the first day, Stephen asked me if I had ever taken gymnastics. After telling him I had not, he breathed a sigh of relief. He went on to say that the hardest people to teach are those who have already learned the subject, because so much of what they have learned is incorrect and must be retaught. He also said something that blew my mind. He said that 90% of people who work out do so incorrectly. Stephen said they waste time, energy, and risk needless injury “trying to do it themselves.”
I’m sure that statistic not only applies to working out, but to other areas of life as well:
90% of us probably raise our children incorrectly
90% of us probably manage our money incorrectly
90% of us probably make choices incorrectly
90% of us probably date or marry incorrectly.
Why? Because we don’t seek counsel. The most successful people always want the most help, so they can become even more successful. And the people who are not that successful? Well…. you guessed it. They are the most unwilling to receive help. Instruction is necessary to to maximize our ability.
The necessity of instruction implies the necessity of an instructor. And the more valuable the instruction, the more expensive the instructor. Be wary of free advice. Most advice is worth what it cost. I once heard a great story about a man who was having trouble fixing a broken door in his basement. After innumerable failed attempts over a long period of time to resolve the issue, he finally called a highly regarded carpenter. The carpenter arrived, looked at the issue, took out a hammer and nail, and solved the problem in two minutes. Two weeks later, the man received a bill from the carpenter for $5000! Astonished and angry, the man called the carpenter to complain about the bill. The carpenter calmly replied “It was only $1 for the nail. But it was $4,999 for knowing where to put it.”
Highly skilled instructors know where the nails go. They know what to do, how to do it, and why it needs to be done. And that expertise, usually gained over a lifetime of experience, is worth every penny. I work with another coach who has a great comeback for people who complain about his fees. Whenever people raise questions about how much Tony charges to help people improve their fitness and nutrition, he says to them “I bet my fees are cheaper than the medications that you take every month.” LOL. Wow. Boom.
The scripture says that when you refuse to learn you are hurting yourself!
Question: In what areas of life are your hurting yourself by your unwillingness to receive instruction?
Far too many of us have been hurting ourselves far too long. it’s time for us to love ourselves. And if you love yourself you will take care of yourself. And you take care of yourself by learning from people richer, smarter, and more successful than you are.
If you are the richest, smartest, and most successful person in the room, you need to go find some other rooms to hang out in.