These days, when someone says “you’re so extra,” it usually isn’t a compliment. Typically , it’s an insult. It is most often said in response to some display of emotion or investment of energy that is deemed inappropriate or unnecessary. In fact, most of us learn quite early not to give ourselves freely to anything or anyone to avoid embarrassment or rejection. We tip toe through life, studiously avoiding commitment. As Jim Carey put it, we “disguise our fear as practicality”.

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